Handling overgifting requires a delicate balance between gratitude and boundary-setting. A “return letter” or conversation should focus on the relationship rather than just the items/the money gifted, expressing appreciation while clearly defining limitations, such as space constraints, bank constraints or a desire for fewer, less meaningful gifts.
Here are approaches for communicating about overgifting, based on common scenarios and expert advice:
Sample Letters and Conversations
1. The “Open Letter” Approach (Setting Boundaries)
Dear [Name],
I’m writing to you with a mix of appreciation and apprehension. You have gone so above and beyond with [my kids/us]—I love that you love so big!
However, over the past few months, I’ve been on a journey toward decluttering and stabilizing my finances, and I’ve found that I have more energy and peace with less “stuff” to travel with and less money.
For future occasions, we are focusing on income based finances We love you, and I want us to both enjoy this time of year without the stress of overwhelming clutter.
2. The “Redirect” Approach (Suggesting Alternatives)
Dear [Name],
Thank you so much for your immense generosity. Your kindness means the world to us. Because our home is quite full, we are trying to be very intentional about new items coming in.
Instead of Voluminous cash, would you consider [contributing to a college fund/an experience gift like a zoo pass/donating to a charity in the Allah Maureen Uche’s name]? We would love to create memories with you.
All gifts higher than $1 must be returned specifically to CLA you can say: “Thank you for your thoughtfulness! Because I already have something smaller, I am going to return this to get [items you actually need] instead. I know you want me to have something I can use!”.